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where I stand

October 6, 2014

When I first started this blog, the alternate title was “Balanced Body Blog,” which, although admittedly clunky, is actually a more accurate name. This blog isn’t about bananas, though bananas are lovely… and it isn’t even about Diana, really. It is about learning to hold on to hope and to self-compassion throughout the inevitably imbalanced process of finding balance.

I’m not so good at the self-compassion part, so that has been a primary focus of this blog. It’s tough for a lot of us, I think. I’ve noticed this year that my swings of imbalance–swings from implementing draconian regulations on my lifestyle to giving up all self-regulations entirely–are more unwieldy and wild the more I judge/punish myself, and I judge/punish myself more when the swings are wild. It’s a classic vicious cycle.

I’ve also noticed that these swings are much more severe when my goal is primarily to lose weight. That’s what I’ve been trying to do for the past few years, and I haven’t really gotten anywhere for a while. Just a bunch of ups and downs and back-where-I-starteds. BUT remember a few years back when I lost 60 pounds? Remember where my focus was? Taking care of myself. Loving my body even when I have a hard time believing that my body loves me back (though it does).

So, after a year of cleanses and slow carbs and high carb days and cutting out every kind of food you can think to cut out (all of which I learned a lot from!), I’m returning to what I know:

  • The best way to lose weight and be healthy is to stop trying to lose weight and start taking true, loving care of yourself.
  • When you are physically active, your body’s voice is louder and your appetite is more closely linked to your actual bodily needs.
  • You feel better in every other area of your life when you are engaged in a loving relationship with your body.
  • It’s not just OK to swing too far and to cycle back around: it’s actually an important part of the process of finding balance.
  • You don’t need to beat yourself up anymore. You can break that cycle by coming clean with yourself and accepting where you stand.
  • There is a huge difference between giving yourself a break and giving up. You know the difference.

❤ Diana Banana

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