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believing is seeing

March 9, 2012

Sometimes believing is seeing, not the other way around.

This may very well be true in an abstract way, but that’s another discussion entirely 😉  What I’m interested in right now is something more concrete:  We WILL NOT see the results we want if we don’t believe they are possible.

This is especially tricky with body stuff, I have found, because we get set thinking of ourselves and our bodies in a certain light.  Even when it is getting in our way, the comfort of our old beliefs about our bodies can trump the new & more positive ones.  For example: I’m used to identifying myself as Fat.  Ever since I was a little girl.  And I have noticed that every time I approach that cusp, the line between fat and average body types, I freeze.  I don’t believe, so I can’t see it happening, so it doesn’t.

Well, it’s time to challenge this.  I’m a grown woman and I get to decide how to define myself.  Lately it has dawned on me what my professional title will be when I get my dream job: Publication Designer.  I can be that.  And I can marry Sam, the love of my life, and I can be his Wife.  I can be all of these things, even though at different points in my life these labels wouldn’t have resonated the same way.  I wouldn’t have believed I could be these things, but now I do, and now I am seeing them unfold.  If I can do all of that, I can also stop believing I have to forever brand myself as Fat.

I have started working with a personal trainer, and I’m so relieved.  It’s amazing how good it feels to have some of this burden carried by another.  Still, I had a hard time during my first session because my trainer wanted to weigh me, and it is still too traumatic after all I’ve been through to be weighed by a stranger.  He was really accommodating, though, and we worked out a solution together.  It felt really good in the end to hold my boundaries but not let them get in my way.  That’s what it’s all about– being good to yourself and getting out of your own way.

❤ Diana Banana

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One Comment leave one →
  1. March 9, 2012 5:20 pm

    Love your blog, Diana — especially how you look beyond the first layers to discover what’s going on underneath! I, like you, am on a weight loss journey full of faith and health. Feel free to read my blog at Shelby

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