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October 10, 2011

It’s been a while.  Everything has changed.  Well, most things.  My living situation, my work/school situation, my daily routines.  I left my job, began my masters program, moved across the bay and got engaged (!).  All in the past two months.

In times of change we can see through the surface down to the sinew, the common threads, the continuity that not only holds our lives together through time but also reveals what is most real to us, what is most true in us.  The activities and relationships we carry with us through our various incarnations reveal so much.  And even deeper than that lies the foundation for these common threads — the philosophies, the goals and the desires.  The things we know when we see clearly, the places within that evolve but still hold fast. In times of change we have even more opportunities than usual to actively shape our lives, and when we remember these constants, we remember how we envisioned our futures taking shape.  Clear vision is necessary for creation.

So I return to the bare bones.  I remember the real reason I started this whole process in the first place.  My core reason is not to look nice or to be accepted by society, though those are tempting treats that come with the territory.  I am doing this because I want to live a long life with the people I love and because I want to be a nurturing home for my future children in the first nine months of their lives. When I can remember that, there is no internal wrestling match with my pride and my reactions.  When I remember that, I am only grateful for the chance to create what I envision.

Now that I am engaged to Sam, I have a clearer vision than ever for my life.  So here I go — a new phase of Diana Banana!  I have been successfully maintaining my weight-loss for quite a while, but now it is time for the next push.  Weee!

❤ Diana Banana

image courtesy of this site

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