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true to your own breath

January 27, 2011

I often long for privacy and space for myself, to have this without feeling isolated or disconnected.  Too often I feel myself choosing between these two constructs, a self-created dichotomy, and I forget that I can have both at once, that I want both at once.  Last night’s class at Yoga To The People was precisely what I needed, like wet clay spilling into all of my internal punctures and fractures.

As a writer and poet, I find deep connection in language, so the fact that I can have a workout-experience gently narrated to me in warm, accepting tones fills me with joy!  Last night I found inspiration in the teacher’s words, and I was so grateful – for my heart, “a muscle so strong that it never stops,” and for my breath: “Let your breath be the most genuine part of your practice.”  Yes.  How can anything else be genuine if you can’t be true to your own breath?

From this space I was finally able to relax into my workout and I did not once think about my daunting weight-loss goal or feel competitive or inadequate, despite the fact that most of the other people in the room were more advanced than I was.  That was, quite simply, not what the experience was about.  My inside experience suddenly aligned perfectly with my philosophy of weight-loss as a byproduct of healthy living rather than the focus, as a transformation of the whole.  Completely consumed by my usually-wavering desire to care for/listen to my body, all I wanted to do for hours after yoga class was gently nurture myself inside of every choice and every action.  This is what I have been seeking.

My body still slows when I remember the heat and the energy in that dark, humid yoga studio, the dozens of bodies full of strength and intention, breathing and moving in familiar yet individual ways.  Every now and then the teacher would lead us all in a deep, simultaneous breath – like being a member of a choir again, like remembering that we are each whole and yet somehow, when we connect, we comprise something else, a larger whole.

❤ Diana Banana

image courtesy of http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.dietsinreview.com/diet_column/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/yoga.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.dietsinreview.com/diet_column/07/yoga-keeps-you-calm-in-the-midst-of-chaos/&usg=__jNMyBs5iLQqFw8mTB6MXscz2GJc=&h=394&w=480&sz=29&hl=en&start=28&sig2=jUdCkuvNJdqPANWYImVlrA&zoom=1&tbnid=a85Z3Ep3Ayx6SM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=161&ei=F9JBTcbZGoqCsQODzujfCg&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dyoga%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1R1GGIC_en___US357%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D806%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C798&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=856&vpy=149&dur=482&hovh=168&hovw=205&tx=145&ty=89&oei=ENJBTYCqDJDUtQOru7GfCg&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:28&biw=1280&bih=806

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