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my biggest barrier

May 6, 2010

[Current Weekly Question: What does it feel like for you when you are in touch with your body?]

OK, I know this is not the weekly question (I will get to that later), but the past few days I’ve been wondering:

What are the barriers between me and my healthiest possible body?

What keeps me from taking care of my body?

My biggest barriers are…

*Time –> I’ve been getting busier lately and most days the only time I have to work out is at about 10pm, which I’m actually enjoying.  Still, I can’t imagine how I would do it if I had kids… time is always an issue.

*Money –> I imagine all kinds of things I would do to take care of my body better if I had limitless financial resources!… get regular massages, hire a personal trainer or holistic healing coach, go on cave expeditions, devote entire weeks to backpacking, or eat at Cafe Gratitude all the time like this awesome guy!

*Energy –> even if there were more hours in the day and I had access to all the money I needed, I would still sometimes totally run out of energy

*Hormones –> sometimes a girl just needs her chocolate :0)

*Alcohol/Social Life –> as a young adult many social situations involve alcohol, which is not only high in calories but I also read that it messes with your metabolism (not to mention your liver)!  I haven’t found a good solution to the alcohol issue yet, besides maybe red wine.  I’ll do more research and write more on this subject.

*Processed Food –> it’s hard to completely avoid processed food in America… and processed food is full of corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, salt, etc.

but my #1 barrier is:

*MYSELF –> more than anything else, I have been noticing lately that I am my own biggest barrier. Here are the things I’ve noticed myself doing lately to sabotage my own progress:

1)  Telling myself I’m becoming annoyingly obsessed with getting in shape and losing weight. While it’s good to keep things in check, I don’t think I’m actually in danger of being too much of a health nut.  I think it creates some cognitive dissonance for me to see myself as a person who is into health at all, so I get freaked out and start thinking I’m way over the edge!

2)  Feeling like there is shame in trying. I find that I sometimes imagine a scenario in which everyone knows my goals but then I somehow just can’t accomplish them, and then I feel foolish for trying.  It’s totally just my way of getting in my way.

3)  Losing momentum. As soon as I start to like how I’m looking and feeling, sometimes I just pull myself down again, falling into (not even very appealing) less healthy patterns.  It’s the strangest thing.  You would think that getting the results I want would be the greatest motivator, and I think overall this is the case, but sometimes there is this strange opposite effect. Sometimes I say to myself, “oh, don’t worry about it, you’ve been doing well, you can take a break now” … but I can feel that there is something else going on underneath it.  When this happens it feels different than when I take a much needed break for the sake of rest.  The only explanation that makes sense to me is that I’m afraid of getting what I want, afraid of being completely in control of my own body and my own life.

It’s kind of exciting, though, that I am pushing the limits of these barriers! I’m getting to know them very well, and I think one day I will pass them by (except for the chocolate…)

❤ Diana Banana

image courtesy of

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Oriana Barros permalink
    May 11, 2010 2:04 pm

    Hey Diana – just wanted to say I started reading your blog after seeing a link on your FB page, and it’s really great!! So many times, I’ve found myself thinking and going through a lot of the same things you write about, and it’s not only great to see that I’m not alone in this quest/battle/struggle/journey (whatever you want to call it on a good or bad day hehe), it’s especially nice to get such a positive outlook on it all! I’m currently trying to get myself back on track with a workout routine and focus more on healthy eating, but it is not easy, especially with everything that tends to get in the way…aka life. In any case, I just had to comment and say thanks for putting it out there, and I’m glad to see you’re doing so well! 🙂

  2. May 11, 2010 2:36 pm

    Hey Oriana!

    Wow, thank you for your comment! I can definitely use the encouragement today 🙂

    One of the coolest things about doing this blog is feeling less alone in this… because yea, it is totally an isolating experience! I’m so so glad you got some relief from that alone-feeling through reading what I’m writing. That’s all I can hope for 🙂

    Best of luck to you! Feel free to write any time with questions or insight or whatever comes to mind.


    PS: your puppy is adorable 😛

  3. Jody Savage permalink
    June 19, 2010 11:02 pm

    Yes. Everything Oriana says is so true.
    PS I just read an article that says people who don’t get enough sleep gain weight, all other things being equal. So maybe sleep is another category, at least for some of us.

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