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April 22, 2010

So far, I’ve lost 50 lbs.

New Years Day, 2009, I resolved to lose 50 lbs.

I did it!!!… and then I realized I’m not done yet.  You’re never really done, but I’m really not done.

YES — I’m going to lose 40 more.  And then I will re-evaluate.  My true goal is to feel whole and balanced in my body, whatever weight that may be.

Btw, my name is Diana & I am 25 years old.  I live in Oakland, California, and I love it here.  My undergrad degree was in psychology with a minor in creative writing.  I currently work as a legal assistant, but really I’m an artist and a poet and I’m in the process of preparing my applications for MFA programs in Poetry ❤  I have a creative and supportive boyfriend and true friends.  Life is good.  Not always easy, but good.

I’m doing this weight-loss thing the long, hard way.  They say that anything worth doing is worth doing right, and in my experience to do anything right you have to constantly push at your resistance.  And also, I want to do it the hard way because as Americans we are far too easily lulled into the belief that we deserve everything to be easy.  As though ease was a virtue.  Well, there will be no “quick fixes” for me!

What I deserve is the learning that comes from the struggle, and that is what I want to share with you.

So.  I’m more than half way to my concrete goal, and there are about a million things I want to write about; this is one of the most interesting processes I’ve ever been through, and I know so many other people are going through similar processes right at this moment!  You are out there, just as confused and excited and daunted and engaged as I am.  Just as scared, and just as courageous.

I know how much shame there is in American culture about weight and food, and even weight-loss can be embarrassing to talk about.  Saying you are trying to lose weight can feel like a strange confession, like admitting that all of the horrible messages you’ve received about your body are true.  There is, however, a flip side:  you can overcome the negative messages by learning how to take care of yourself.

I’m not going to go into everything all at once, though my enthusiasm and curiosity are dying to meet you.  I figure that the most significant things I’ve learned so far will come up again naturally simply by writing in here, as significant things often do :0)

❤ Diana Banana

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FYI — Each week I will be writing a question of the week, a no-wrong-answer kind of question.  It will be something specific that I am presently struggling with/ interested in.  When posting my new question every week, I will also write my answer to the previous week’s question, whatever stage my answer is in.  Feel free to post your own answers too!

WEEKLY QUESTION #1: How can you tell the difference between pushing yourself to lose weight out of love of self vs. punishment of self?

just some food for thought 😉

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 22, 2010 8:51 pm

    Diana, WOW. I didn’t know at ALL! I am so excited for you. And happy and inspired and wow. I can’t wait to read the million things you write about. Yay you!!!!!!!!

    • April 23, 2010 10:25 am

      😀 I was so excited and happy when I read your comment! How cool to inspire someone who inspired me 🙂 Thank you for your support.

  2. Cynthia Farris Sprock permalink
    May 24, 2010 3:00 pm

    Diana, I knew your dad and your uncles Mike and Steve when we were growing up in the Philippines. I love your blog! My sister Lynne shared it with me and I’m awestruck by how beautifully you communicate your struggle. I’m nearly 52 and feel many of the same feelings you describe. Even though I’ve never been considered medically overweight, I can honestly say I’ve never been happy with my body or my weight (regardless of what I’ve weighed through the years). You’re in inspiration! Best of luck to you on your journey and keep writing.
    Warm regards,
    Cynthia

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